McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: List: 10 Signs Your Partner Plans to Name Your Baby Something Horribly Unconventional.
You catch her talking to the spice rack and saying things like, “Put all of your toys away, Cardamom” and then smiling to herself.
In lieu of baby name books, she’s just started highlighting products in an IKEA catalogue.
You’ve seen her touch her belly lovingly and mouth the drug names when commercials for syphilis and chlamydia treatments are on.
There’s a book by the toilet titled 18th Century Jobs with pages folded down at Besswarden, Cloistress, Delver, Hayward, and Yeoman.
She asks every person at the dog park what his or her dog’s name is. You don’t have a dog.
Her recent Google search history includes, “Can you use umlauts in English?”
She’s done extensive research on eye color probability and learned how to say blue in 32 languages.
There’s a notepad on the coffee table that she only uses when a new Game of Thrones character is introduced.
She points out every Oriel, Parapet, and Belvedere she sees even though she knows nothing about architecture and is usually wrong.
Every time she makes a fruit salad she whispers little encouragements to it and sometimes even recites Shel Silverstein.